Bane makes his way from Ruusan to the Onderon’s moon, Dxun. Along the way he is plagued by the ghosts of Kaan and Qordis, eventually becoming so upset by them that he actually tries to use the force to strike at them and ends up blowing up a control panel inside of his ship as it is still in flight. Well. I think I’ve said before that Bane isn’t the smartest guy around. How you become the Dark Lord of the Sith and being a big proponent of subtlety and intrigue while at the same time not being smart enough to not use force powers inside your small ship is beyond me.
He tries to use the force to repair a circuit board and manages it at the very last instant. But unfortunately for him, he still crashes into a group of trees. But luckily it’s on Dxun. Of course, he’s injured from all this but after popping his shoulder back into place and then injecting himself with some medical stimulants he’s more or less fine. Qordis’ ghost shows up, mocks him for a while and then Bane sets off. Only to get attacked by a giant cat with two tails with barbed and venomous tips. Bane kills it with a lightsaber and then follows the ghost of Kaan (I don’t know, maybe ghosts work in shifts) to the tomb of Freedon Nadd.
At the same time, on Coruscant, Farfalla and Johun are having a chat with Chancellor Valorum. See, the Chancellor has heard all about how the sith brotherhood has been destroyed and decides it is time to disband the Army of Light. He says that while the jedi army exists, it will only perpetuate more conflict. This in turn destroys the Republic, so you know, let’s get rid of it. Farfalla agrees, Johun doesn’t. Too bad you’re just a padawan, Johun! Maybe if you cut that stupid braid off someone would give a damn what you think.
Of interest at this point is that for the past four centuries, the Chancellor has always been a jedi. Valorum is the first non-jedi Chancellor.
Bane finds himself in the tomb and then finds a giant stone slab blocking a doorway. He moves it after thinking about his pops being him up as a child to get into a sith-dark-rage. Inside? Oh, look at that, another holocron! There’s a moment where Bane is all omg dudezzz a holocron they are so raaaaare but maybe he forgot how he round that other holocron of Darth Revan not even six months ago? All you have to do is find a guy’s tomb, apparently there’s a good chance he was one vain jerk and left a hologram of himself around to tell you about how cool he was. Hell, even I’m thinking of doing it.
Well, too bad for Bane there are also a million insect creatures in the room guarding the place. They start dropping on him from the ceiling and after trying to lightsaber one of them, it just bounces off. Two of them manage to latch on to him (we’ll get to the at the end of the post) and Bane feels an acidic burn blazing through him. And for just a moment you think Oh no, Bane! but then you find out that the thing is called an Orbalisk and acts as a symbiote. Basically it feeds off the dark side of the force but as the victim uses said force, the Orbs just tunnel it back into them. So essentially Bane has become a Perpetual Force Machine. Here on the downsides: you are forever in acidic pain, they can’t be removed, and they grow larger over time until they cover all of you. Upsides: Again, Perpetual Force Machine, ridiculously increased strength and near instantaneous healing. Oh and Bane also found blueprints for a special helmet that would prevent them from growing over his face during his sleep. I don’t know how this is going to prevent them from just growing over the helmet, but whatever.
All of this, however is basically taken straight from God Emperor of Dune. I don’t know if Dxun is supposed to be pronounced like Dune or what, but yeesh.
Of additional point of lore interest, Freedon Nadd was the apprentice to Naga Sadow, who apparently lived for six centuries as emperor.
Bane spends a few days with the Orbs and the holocron before remembering he has to meet up with Zannah on Onderon. His ship is completely broken, but it hardly matters. Why is that, you ask? Oh, because he just hops on a giant Pterodactyl and flies from Dxun, then through space, to Onderon. The explanation is that the moon is so close to Onderon that sometimes those large flying beasts just migrate to the planet anyway. You can read this paragraph as many times as you like, it will never make sense. Seriously, at one point Bane can feel the force of the moon’s gravity trying to pull them back down but he just uses the force to override the lizard-bird’s brain and it just flaps even harder. Oh, cool.
Zannah, on the other hand, is having some guilt trips. She just killed five people for not a lot of reason and drags the corpses off to the hold of the ship so she won’t have to see them. Ehhh, too bad she can still smell them! Solution? Toss half-eaten ration packs towards the hold and eventually the smell of rotting food will compensate for the smell of rotting flesh. Worst. Sith. Ever.
Her ship lands in a forest on Onderon and she gets ambushed by some Pterodactyl riders. And almost gets killed but Bane shows up on his dumb ancient bird and saves the day. Ugh.
Best Moment: Absolutely not. Nothing.
Worst Moment: Drew Karpyshyn, what the hell. Remember when you wrote about Bane’s headaches feeling like a million tiny knives? Did you think writing “Bane felt a tiny thousand teeth burrowing into the thick meat of his back” would go unnoticed? That’s what happened when the Orbalisks fell onto Bane. Personally, I feel a hundred tiny blood vessels popping in my brain all at once.