Red Harvest, pages 1 – 46

I am eating my words.

Perhaps cross-genre really is what the Star Wars universe needed in order to save itself, or perhaps they just needed Joe Schreiber.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not falling head over heels for this guy or anything, but his writing is so many steps above ubiquitous painful knives exploding in wounds.  (here’s a hint: he knows how to use the word miasma!)

So let’s cut to the chase and see what’s going on here and why we care: In Red Harvest we find ourselves largely (well, so far) on the planet Korriban at the sith academy.  Bear in mind this is 2000 years or so before Darth Bane, so there is no Rule of Two and there are many sith Lords out there roaming around the galaxy.

One of these sith lords is Lord Scabrous.  He is one necromantic kind of guy.  Tall and lanky and dressed all in black like you assume every sith lord to be.  Here Schreiber seems to try to make him stand out from the rest, but if you’re familiar with sith dynamics you just figure he’s like any other sith lord.  Except sometimes he kidnaps his students and keeps them in cages to do experiments on.


There is a Jedi atrium.  No shit.  Remember that one of the goals the jedi adhere to is that of preserving culture.  Well, they also like to garden. In fact, they like to garden so much that some of them have special “green force thumbs” and are selected to go serve in their greenhouse.  What happens in the greenhouse?  Oh, you know, the jedi talk to the plants mentally through the force.


Except, one of these jedi, who is of course way better at botany than the rest of the jedi gets kidnapped along with a black orchid that is about one thousand years old.  Who kidnaps her?  Scabrous, I’m betting.  He needs the black orchid for some crazy necromantic spell or something.

Best Moment:  It’s not like Scabrous hasn’t tried to get his hands on one of these black orchids before.  And when a mercenary tries to bring him a fake one, Scabrous just looks at him and asks him where his partner is. The mercenary is all “Oh, he’s back at the ship” and Scabrous goes “Nuh uh” and has his droid bring a silver tray with a bowl in it and there’s his partner’s head, floating in a bowl of soup.  But that’s not even the best part.  Scabrous then forces the guy to eat it!

Worst Moment:  Even though I’m pretty excited about the fact that this guy can actually write a good sentence, sometimes he still brings back memories of Darth Bane.  Here’s an example, from when one of the sith students is kidnapped and finds himself caught in a cage and we see Darth Scabrous for the first time: “Nikter already knew exactly who it was, even before the flickering torchlight of the room revealed the man’s face-a long, bony sculpture of bone and half-lidded eyes” Wait, what? A bony structure of bone? Nicely done.

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One Response to Red Harvest, pages 1 – 46

  1. kx says:

    There is something about the literary life that repels me, all this desperate building of castles on cobwebs, the long-drawn acrimonious struggle to make something important which we all know will be gone forever in a few years, the miasma of failure which is to me almost as offensive as the cheap gaudiness of popular success.

    — Raymond Chandler, someone else who knew how to use ‘miasma’.

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