Darth Bane: Dynasty of Evil pages 202 – finish

Here we go.

Lucia, in her infinite wisdom and sympathy, decides that it is unfair to leave Bane locked in a prison to rot and be tortured by Serra, so she injects him with a drug that brings him back to consciousness.  She then darts out of the room to catch up with Serra so they can escape before Bane kills them.

Zannah and Set show up at the prison docking bay where Zannah pulls an unnecessary loop de loop in order to impress Set with her AWESOME and RADICAL flying skills.  Set says ‘whoa dude so tubular’ and they continue to act like five year olds.  Zannah tells Set to wait for her while she searches for Bane.  Set stands around for roughly 30 seconds before honestly kicking dirt and juggling because he is so bored.  Right there with you, Set.

But then!  Set can feel the power of Darth Andeddu’s holocron resting somewhere within the prison and figures he can get the holocron and get back to the ship before Zannah gets back.  He books it.

Darth Bane wakes up on the wrong side of the bed at this point.  He knows that Lucia essentially rescued him but he still doesn’t know who she is. So he figures what the hell and blasts through the prison, killing guards and stealing a vibroblade.  At this point the Huntress still has his lightsaber.  Hm.  By saying at this point am I foreshadowing too much?  Or did I just foreshadow too much there?  Drew Karpyshyn, help me out!

Serra and the Huntress have a quick little conversation in which Serra figures out that the Huntress is sooooo evil.  Of course, this is after the Huntress tells Serra about how Lucia betrayed her and Serra doesn’t believe her until she hears an alarm go off throughout the compound.  She freaks out and runs to the room where the button to make the entire place collapse is.

While Serra is deliberating whether or not to press the button, Bane runs into Lucia and just before he kills her, Zannah smashes her up against a wall and crushes her skull.  Bane and Zannah get into a fight!

Then Set and the Huntress get into a fight at the docking bay!  The Huntress completely overpowers Set but he gets the upperhand by blowing up two of the four ships at dock and threatening to blow up the last of them unless she lets him leave.  She relents and he makes off with the secrets of immortality.

Serra stumbles upon the body of her treacherous friend Lucia and, unable to take anymore decides screw it and runs back to the button room and presses the button to make the place collapse.  Don’t worry, she gets out alive.

Bane and Zannah’s fight ends in an impasse despite Bane lacking a lightsaber and Zannah goes back to her own ship (sorry, Set took off earlier in the Doan royal ship, wanting to give Zannah the slip) and takes off when she can’t find Bane.  Bane runs into the Huntress and takes her on as an apprentice and she gives him back his lightsaber.  The Huntress… might have Bane’s personal holocron.

The Huntress (soooo tired of typing that, I just keep thinking of the Batman character) figures Serra went back to Ambria to visit her old home so she and Bane go there to take her out.  There outcome here is inevitable.  Serra realizes she has given in to the dark side and that by seeking revenge she is tarnishing her father’s memory.  She tells Bane to go stuff it and the Huntress kills her.  No guts, no glory.  No, seriously.

Because Bane doesn’t want three stupid sith out there, he sends Zannah a distress beacon.  She shows up and they have their final confrontation where Bane is winning until Zannah brings up all the dark energy left on Ambria by that old sith sorceress which creates these dark tendrils that slice off Bane’s arm.  Too bad for Zannah Bane just learned the art of essence transfer and he takes over her body and essentially becomes immortal.

Well, I mean he tells the Huntress (now Darth Cognus, sigh) that he is Zannah and that Bane is gone.  But there are enough HEY NO LOOK AT ME context clues to tell you Bane is in charge.  And hey, for once Bane does something halfway smart.  By not telling the galaxy you’ve taken over this body I suppose you have a certain edge because the galaxy thinks you’re dead.  I don’t know if this means Bane will finally be able to grasp sorcery or not because the only epilogue we get is dumb Set standing around thinking to himself about how he’s going to lie low while he figures out how to be immortal.

And that’s the end of this absurd and lackluster trilogy.  Who knows how long Bane jumps bodies, maybe it will come up in a later book.  But unfortunately the next book (chronologically) happens around Star Wars Episode 1, roughly one thousand years after this book.

In the next couple of days I’ll summarize some points about the trilogy (and by that I mean I’ll complain for a bit) and then we’ll start Red Harvest, a book that takes us back in time 2,500 years before Banes story.  Apparently it’s about zombies?  I don’t know if I feel confident that cross-genres will save Star Wars.

Best Moment:  This is an easy one and I feel cheap using it but… This trilogy is over!  Yay!  Beer, meet liver.

Worst Moment(s):  During Zannah and Bane’s last fight, one of Zannah’s attacks feels like “a hot knife stabbing directly into his brain” which okay is bad enough but wait. “Then the knife exploded, sending a million burning shards in every direction.” I don’t know what it is with this guys obsession with every injury/painful moment feeling like a knife but do each of them have to constantly explode and become million-piece fragments of its former self? Okay, just remember the best moment.

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